April 8, 2008

NaPoWriMo Day 8

8 a.m. Central Time
After sixteen months of distance
including eight months of complete silence
I am brushing my teeth
in your same (yet changed) apartment.
Did you have the warning signs
for your birth control pills
taped to the mirror before?
It's been too long and I don't remember
or maybe I just didn't notice last year.

I wonder at your paranoia
until I realize how often
I experience these symptoms
and they are a weak threat at best.

In fact, I have legt pain right now
it comes once a week
I'm a dancer, I hurt,
it's not a waiting clot.
And those headaches-
still, an aneurysm would hurt more
and anyway,
you don't get monthly aneurysms.
Insomnia, weakness, fatigue
those are all symptoms
of my workaholism
not hormone-induced depression.

I can't worry-
life is simply endemic
to headaches, anxiety.
I wonder why you worry
and whether in those dead-air months
you had reason to be scared.

But we are here now
we are in health now
and whatever pain we've caused
is over.
And there will be more months
and eventually more separation
but we will keep our voices
and our stories and our laughter.
And you will put my poems
on your mirror, near
the warning signs, not
obscuring them but
making them share a space.

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