April 30, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 30

Villanelle for the Students
Lone Star, Guinness, Shiner, Magic Hat
Glasses filling up with every hour
Talked politics and poems as we sat

A wink, a smile, a flirty hug, a pat
Relaxing after days too long and dour
Lone Star, Guinness, Shiner, Magic Hat

Dingy bar, always a roach or gnat
The never-fading stench of something sour
Talked politics and poems as we sat

Potatoes frying in a blackened vat
Bartender who always wore a glower
Lone Star, Guinness, Shiner, Magic Hat

One of us would topple to the mat
Falling off of our pretentious tower
Talked politics and poems as we sat

Now we've gained some wisdom, years, and fat
But memory holds a peculiar power
Lone Star, Guinness, Shiner, Magic Hat
Talked politics and poems as we sat

April 29, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 29

Intimate Geography
The back porch, where I watched
you play catch with the dog,
and I imagined
something domestic and permanent.

The kitchen, where I wanted
to fuck, but
you were concerned about burns, broken glass,
making a mess

The office, where you pressed
me against the wall, kissed me
before moving on

The bedroom
where the inevitable
joyfully happened

The bathroom, ignored

The spare room, verboten

The living room, where
we were too busy with each other to
watch dinner
as it charred on the stove

The front porch where we
always said goodbye,
the only spot I hated

NaPoWriMo Day 28

Untitled
eyes open with sun
they day is moving forward
no time to delay

NaPoWriMo Day 27

Untitled
Humidity crawls
up into the atmosphere -
summer beginning

April 27, 2010

New Rude Words Book Review Up

I have a new book review up at Rude Words! Check out what I thought about Kay Jaybee's Quick Kink Two!

http://ping.fm/lMkNe

April 26, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 26

Untitled
I dreamt that you wrote -
     yes, absolutely, everyone stays
     together, nobody leaves,
     agreed.

And woke up feeling finally
     forgiven, though you didn't
     really write that, haven't
     sent words in five days.

Subconscious wishing, maybe.
But the tranquility is
     real, I know what
     I need, and even if you
     have not absolved me,
      at least I have
      acquitted myself.

NaPoWriMo Day 25

Austin Villanelle

Although it doesn't fit me like a glove,
two years here, I think I'll call it home.
I doubt there's any place I'll truly love.

I love the sun that bakes me from above
the city makes me sweat, it makes me foam
although it doesn't fit me like a glove

There are other cities I've dreamed of
other countries that I'd like to roam.
I doubt there's any place I'll truly love.

Here I've found some peace, I've found a dove
I'll put down roots, settle in the loam
although it doesn't fit me like a glove.

Someday perhaps I'll get the urge and shove
away, off to Bombay or Rome.
I doubt there's any place I'll truly love.

I move through trees within the grove
and think of what the future might become
although it doesn't fit me like a glove,
I doubt there's any place I'll truly love.

NaPoWriMo Day 24

Austin 1

I don't quite fit in here
either, but it's better
than any of the other
places I've tried so far-

Chicago left me numb and
bitter, lake snow freezing
my muscles, snapping
them like the necks of wine bottles
on a bar

Cleveland - no sun
no work left, no hope -
the embodiment of all forms of depression

D.C. is no place for
someone caught between
anarchy and apathy.

And New York is nothing but
crowds, human roaches
taking over.

And all the small towns
in between - not much
room for a queer woman(?)
poet - maybe one of
each, but not all mixed
together in one body.

Here, at the very least
I can warm my bones, and get lost
in the sky, and
retreat easily into the hills or
my home.

Here, at the very least,
I don't look quite
so awkward, I'm not expected to
be pretty, I'm not
expected to be
accepted.

Still lonely, always
lonely, but there's hope
here, at least.

April 23, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 23

Untitled
I drove your car out
to real Texas, to the
lavender hills, paler
and thinner than usual-
my first southern
summer, my first
drought year.

We got lost on the farm
roads, lost in a good
way, two
best friends and
adventure, a story
for chick-lit paperbacks
and TV movies.

Sweated our hearts out in
the hills, cut sprigs,
bought potted plants and
lavender-flavored
lavender-scented
everything.

A week later, my plant
was dead.

Six months after the
lavender, you left and
a year after that
you were married but
I never even saw the announcement - I
had planned to wear
purple to your wedding.

April 22, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 22

Untitled
Pictures of smiles that faded
     with fat, then muscle-
images of joy wasted
     away, atrophied with dissatisfaction
Photo by photo, my
     body remembers that life and
     cries for the
     lost part of itself.

Joy
is taste before
it's anything else - joy
in nourishment, in the
simple fulfillment of need

Listen- the only way to tempt
happiness into your mind
is by taking it int
the body first-
     small wild plums
     summer-bursting tomatoes
     pumpernickel, rye
     fresh cheese

I put happiness in a
     plate, let it fill me,
fix me -
Anyone can see
how I love myself at last

April 21, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 21

I got the prompt for today from here (#30). The junk mail I used was from an advertisement from a lawyer I received today. This was a real challenge, and while I'm not sure how I feel about the results, this is one of the most fun experiences I have had while writing a poem.

Associates
Serious, serious

Out of Town Valley

Dear Ms.

Records indicate that you may have received personal injuries.

To obtain, proven according to legal standards,
more serious, more complex, legal proof, full impact on your life
Ours can help you get what you deserve

We deal with every day
including possible needs to
prove the extent of your necessary
personal law

We do not charge after compensation
All the risk in (time and money) and you
are guaranteed in no recovery you owe us nothing

We accept death.

18 accidents
Defective day malfunction
Apartment construction
Ejection from job
Offshore electrocution
Slip, fall
Cerebral drowning

Please note that it is illegal for
represented conduct
void your contract under their continued damage reduce the value
of your illegal conduct by these individuals
contact us if you need more

Thousands of the country. Sometimes
waiting long, innocent mistakes on your
part, loss and destruction, important evidence.
The longer you wait the harder your case.
Please call us tough, aggressive, and experienced
Deal with serious personal cases
Their own, even the playing field by us.
Use our experience, obtain justice in your

Advertisement

May be referred
by appointment only
(principal office)

April 20, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 20

Plants are sprouting in
red Solo cups; cheap starters -
garden deserves more

April 19, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 19

Untitled
The scapegrace scrapes
     by on the skin
     of someone else

Gloom Cupboard #119 is up!

Happy Monday! Celebrate National Poetry Month by checking out the newest issue of Gloom Cupboard, with poetry by lex Chornyj, Lisa Cole, Walter Conley, Michael McAloran, Helen Peterson, Valerie Poulin, Brandon S. Roy, satnrose, Medeia Starfire, and Stephen Williams.

http://ping.fm/Y24ky

April 18, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 18

Driving
After the convalescence
     and getting over the fear
     of the road-
now needing a car
And you
     needing the cash
two problems solved
     with one transaction.

I feel like I'm driving
     you everywhere - I opened
     the ashtray to find it
     overflowing with your
     cigarette butts -
     your dog's fur on my pants-
     spare change scattered everywhere.

You'll survive all this, of course,
     and then I'll laugh at
     my own superstition but
     I'll leave the ashes, the
     dander, the coins, because
What if -
     what if -
     what if?

NaPoWriMo Day 17

Confession
I have poured the contents
     of my overstuffed frontal lobe
     onto the pavement, before
     they had a chance to
     spoil, fester, pressurize,
     explode,
     stain our clothes.

The fluid forms a shallow
     pool between us, sometimes
     rippling with ambition, sometimes
     bubbling with intent.

A leap of faith, to show you
     these permanently simmering waters.

And now, the test of my
     trust, the anxious moment
     of waiting after I
     invite you to drink.

April 17, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 16

Untitled
Your tears on my face
my own still stashed
behind my eyes -
I used to think
sadness was a waste of time -
yet only your sorrow
could break my distraction,
bring me
into the moment

NaPoWriMo Day 15

Poem comes from prompt 23 here.

Untitled

What have you forgotten already?
What has been prematurely
     lost to complacent familiarity?
Do you still know the color of
     my eyes, or even the
     intangible way they
     change when they are angry?
What will you wish you'd written
     down, photographed, when
     you've moved on?
Will you grasp for the sensation
     of my callouses against your hands?
Will you miss my insomnia, the
     way it afforded us a few
     extra hours?
What will you regret not doing?
What will you hate yourself for
     in the morning?

April 14, 2010

Book Review at Rude Words

I've started writing book reviews for Rude Words, and my first one is up! Check it out here!

NaPoWriMo Day 14

Untitled
You will take a strange journey -
     you will not
     learn what you want to be
     when you grow up
You will not grow up -
     life will become
     its own Neverland
and you will always feel
     twenty-five
     inside -
     naive and headstrong and
     too willing to try -
You will only have five brief years to
     love your body -
You finally gave in to
     your shape and size, learned
     to appreciate your existence
     and take up space
But you'll trip
     and fall along your path -
     knot up with arthritis
     slow your pace
Mind still racing with adolescent
     energy, impatient, hurrying
     yourself along, trying to get you to
     keep up with yourself -
And you'll have learned eveyrthing
     except the lesson you've needed most -
     patience with yourself
You won't starve
     yourself this time, but you will
     grow as bitter as
     your calcifying joints
Kicking and screaming your way into age
     You'll have these
     inevitable failures, these
     mechanical difficulties
     that you'd rather
     not consider
     part of you.

NaPoWriMo Day 13

Smelling the rainstorm
that is still ten miles away -
rejoice in the wind

April 12, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 12

Today's poem comes from #11 on last's year's list of NaPoWriMo prompts at Book of Kells.

Untitled
She waited for him
all day, she was
used to waiting,
used to killing time
with neglected chores,
television reruns,
making grocery lists;
she flitted from
laundry room to
fridge to
bedroom, because
the waiting made her
nervous, she hated his
lateness (even though she
was used to it,
even though she claimed
to have accepted it
years ago),
she hated not
knowing how much
time she had left,
how man half-hours
were still at her
disposal; she
enjoyed structure,
spreadsheets,
itineraries,
color-coding,
but her need went unfulfilled,
so she half-assed her
diversions, mind always
half-worrying about what else
she could accomplish
and whether he had
been killed in a wreck
instead of just
forgetting to call (again),
and when he finally
darkened her door, she
cried from relief and exhaustion.

NaPoWriMo Day 11

Yesterday's poem was created using prompt 15 at the Book of Kells list of prompts for NaPoWriMo 2010. However, I will say that I am not happy with this poem and writing yesterday was like pulling teeth. But I wrote because it's what I do, and I said I'd do a poem a day. I just never said I'd write a good poem a day.

Untitled
I believe in ghosts.
I don't write poetry anymore.
I will never forgive you.
I want children.
I will live forever.

I believe in God.
I have a death wish.
I want to forgive you.
You are my best friend.
I wish I lived in New York.

I believe in miracles.
I shaved my head because I have low self-esteem.
I don't know why I can't forgive you.
I got married too young.
I will live through this.

I believe in myself.
I promise I'll never pierce my nose.
I trust you.
I will not attend your funeral.
I live alone.

I have prayed.
I'm feeling better every day.
My life is better with(out) you.
I miss you.
I live today as though it will be my last.

April 10, 2010

Support Spinathon

Reesa Brown is an Austin-area horror writer who was recently diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. She's recovering from surgery, but has a long, expensive journey of treatment to follow. To that end, a local fiber artist has put together Spinathon, an endurance event to raise money for her treatments. We need people to sponsor people to be continually spinning and knitting. It only takes $5 to sponsor five minutes of spinning, and you can sponsor via PayPal.

Maybe you don't see the point in sponsoring someone you don't know, or have never heard of. But Reesa is a great friend and a brilliant writer. Please help us to make her treatment a little bit easier and donate.

NaPoWriMo Day 10

Self-Portrait With Love

You could hate yourself today, hate your crooked teeth, scarred lip, tight shoulders/back/hips, the fact that you're not sixteen anymore, and still irresponsible with money, still don't know what you want to be when you grow up.

You could hate yourself, but why? When the sun is shining and you'll tan in it. Why, when you've this whole world to move around in, to stretch your legs. Why, when you woke up this morning. alive, smiling, full of ideas, why when the day is growing summer-hot and you're a part of it?

April 9, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 9

Love Has No Name

The only signifiers
are the ones we make
     for ourselves-
the vocal, the nonverbal,
 the preverbal
sometimes
     coalescing into language
By chance, we
     find words-
the names cried out
     at the pinnacle of
     embodied emotion

April 8, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 8

The tongue is the sweetest meat

I cook yours simmer-slow
     letting flavors fill the inside
     nearly bursting
     so that when I bite
     the juices flood me
I let oven heat saturate
     your mouth. so that when
     we kiss,
     you heat me

Consuming every nutrient
     from your body
     licking you dry-
     feasting on the sense of taste-
     sustenance of lust
I deplete you
     in the name of my love-famine
     play the glutton
     let you build up on my hips
     so I make it through
     the starvation economy

April 7, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 7

Love Haiku

Your body in the
morning, striped with the new sun,
always beautiful.

NaPoWriMo Day 6

Manicured landscape
of the apartment complex
nature pruned away

April 6, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 5

(I know this is similar to what I wrote yesterday. I'm just pondering this subject lately.)


Untitled


For atheists, trust in
     each other is the
     only acceptable faith-
     and what a terrifying faith
     it is, to believe
     in us, such fallible creatures.

Sometimes, faith in god
     seems more reasonable-
     the whims of an unseen
     spirit easier on the
     heart than the betrayal
     of our own kind

Or perhaps we just
     imagine that's the case-
     a god does not exist
     to hurt us.

April 4, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 4

Untitled

The world consists only
     of faith-
even atheists
     believe in love
And lack of faith in
     emotion is
     the loneliest sort of nonbelief

When you can't have faith
     in the fact that someone
     will love you unconditionally-
     that you are worth loving-
When you can't believe
     even in what exists-
     it is the most
     heart-wrenching atheism

But belief, above all
     is learned behavior
And when you know
     nothing but deprivation
Even when you are
     drowning in your own abundance
     you do not know
     the beautiful facts
     kissing your face

NaPoWriMo Day 3

Untitled

She is boisterous-
     tries to quiet her fears with noise
     tries to hide her loneliness with sound
She is boisterous-
     and worries more as a result,
     having grown tiresome to others
     her voice becoming a drone
She is boisterous-
     and lonely
     longing to stay with you

April 2, 2010

NaPoWriMo Day 2

Untitled

I have an elephant brain, I keep
     my entire history locked up there

Some memories weigh
     more than others

Some are putting pressure
     on my neck,
     my spine is about to telescope
Some have been stored
     in my sinus cavity
     creating a new source of
     congestion, a new headache
Others still are hiding
     in my ear canal, dulling
     voices and music
But the ones that hurt
     the most are those lurking
     in the corners of my mouth,
     pushing my teeth out
     of position

NaPoWriMo Day 1

(I did write this yesterday, but due to a busy schedule, I didn't have time to post it until this morning.)


Convalescence


All day my body
accepts what it is -
      car-wrecked-
      feeling five years older than it should.

All day I do
what I still can
      waiting
      for my
      self
      to grow back.

Living has become an exercise
in patience
      and accepting limits;
      the abilities of others;
      care over independence.

All day I wait
for healing and try
      to be content
      in the fact that I still exist.